Sunday Gazette-Mail June 26, 2001 

As the stock market slump and sluggish economy trigger massive layoffs, job opportunities shrink and competition intensifies. This has sparked an upsurge of books, Web sites and magazine columns offering advice and instruction to prospective employees and employers. Sharpening one's competitive edge has become an industry in itself, focused primarily on the refining of social skills and professional polish. Crude and rude are out; refinement is in. What it all comes down to is this: Outclassing the competition with better manners and behavior adds weight to any applicant's resume.

The Job of Dining
In March, University of Charleston graduating seniors gathered for a formal dinner, eager to enhance their interviewing skills and table manners. They'd come to learn a few things about a seemingly innocuous matter: table settings and utensils. As each course was served, they were given instructions on what to do and how to eat it.

What has this got to do with getting a job? Gail Pitchford, a zealous volunteer etiquette instructor as well as a vice president and personal financial adviser for BB&T, concedes that some students attended the dinner for the free meal. "But most prospective employers will now take applicants out to a meal, to evaluate them," said Pitchford, who led the event.

Pitchford has conducted these dinner presentations for three or four years at UC through the university's career placement office. Usually 50 or 60 seniors will attend.

Learning such skills is no light matter. "Anyone having to entertain clients as part of the position who can't handle himself on the interview will never get the job," she said.

Steve Nichols, catering manager for the Charleston Marriott hotel, also gives etiquette presentations on dining and hospitality by request, as a volunteer (which won him the year 2000 Marriott International Wow Award for career education and community service).

"I go to different schools - West Virginia State College, Marshall University, Riverside High," Nichols said. "I can do it at the hotel if a corporation wants to come in and teach employees business etiquette."

The lesson in all of this is that when dining out with your employer or a prospective employer, it's not about the fresh catch of the day.

"Business dining is not about food!" national columnist and international corporate trainer Mary Mitchell warns in her writings.

Mitchell, known through her column as "Ms. Demeanor," tells her readers that such meals, whether part of interviewing or client- courting, are actually tests of social skills, table manners, personal interests.

And beware of the particulars, she cautions.

When it comes to drinking alcohol, for instance, "At a business event you cannot afford to let your guard down," Mitchell says. Her tips also include asking the host what he or she recommends before ordering, but also staying away from messy dishes.

Dress rehearsals
What about dress - as in dressing up or dressing down - both for job interviews and after you're on the job?

Manners mavens across the country concur that job-seekers should not adopt "casual Friday" attire, whatever the day. Ambitious job- holders, as well as current job-holders, should always be dressed professionally, ready to meet opportunity - or to meet unexpected and potential customers - with favorable first impressions.

More specifically:

* Jewelry should be understated, with rings limited to one (or a wedding set) per hand.

* Wearing sport coats instead of suit jackets and dress slacks instead of skirts are as "dressed-down" as upwardly bound careerists should appear at worksites where suits are the norm.

* Where casual garb is standard, Fridays should never bring forth bare shoulders, holey jeans, sweats or tacky T-shirts.

Introductions in Order?
Etiquette experts also agree that introductions on the job or in social settings should be made according to formula: rank, age and guests get top billing. In other words, important or noted people have people brought to them to be introduced: "Mr. Boss, this is New Employee Jane." You are deferring to their rank, age or status as guests.

At a business reception, the host CEO is presented to a guest CEO. In a similar fashion, host peers are formally introduced to guest peers. And if a superior omits an underling after a round of introductions, the staffer should add with a smile, "And I'm Tom Terrific; I work with Mr. Boss." When a name is forgotten, admit it with a laugh, and "Oh, gee, my mind's gone blank!"

Gender Benders
The growing prominence of women in America's work force has retired the old "ladies first" traditions in place of gender-neutral practices based on common sense. But relics from the past sometimes still arise, causing everything from embarrassment to lawsuits. Office Casanovas these days can make female co-workers have to choose "between being a good sport and claiming sexual harassment," according to columnist Judith Martin. "Knowing what is appropriate for work and what for play" can prevent such unpleasantness, she writes.

Martin, the high-camp "Miss Manners," explains in her witty way that most job-related etiquette problems are caused by confusing "pseudosocial" business occasions with personal social activities.

In her book, "Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium," Martin also notes that the old standing rules of manners can sometimes work against women in office settings. She advises that business is by nature competitive and so refusing to take credit for accomplishments, letting a rival's misinformation go uncorrected and other similar modest social poses do not belong in the marketplace.

"For a lot of workers, the pretense of [on-the-job] equality and sociability does obscure the reality ... Office friendliness refers only to a dignified and pleasant demeanor that is not incompatible with fair competition."

Gender neutrality also means that the person reaching a door first holds it open for all who follow. This also means:

* The person who does the inviting to lunch or dinner pays, with a 20 percent tip.

* Handshakes are offered promptly to visitors and new acquaintances by both men and women.

* And everyone stands to greet clients or visitors, and for introductions.

Techno-rudeness
Beyond such rules governing human interaction, technological interactions are on the rise in the business and work world. But the new technology raises old questions about manners and etiquette - and electronic etiquette is also an important place to make an impression as well.

Like everywhere else in modern society, business life has become inundated with electronics. And electronic gadgetry really raises the hackles of graciousness gurus. Cell phones, beepers, e-mail, faxes, voice-mail and call-waiting do's and don'ts have been promulgated, as has "Netiquette," the polite person's guide to Internet interactions.

Anyone who has witnessed self-important cell-phone blabbing at a nearby restaurant table, or been blasted out of musical reverie at a concert by someone's beeper, needs no reminder of the new techno- rudeness.

Such rudeness takes other forms in business settings:

* Being held hostage on a business's phone system while on hold.

* The frustrating inability to make human contact on urgent matters.

* Companies and businesses that flood you with unwelcome faxes and e-mail spam.

People of refinement, it needs stating in these digital days, do not practice electronic harassment.

Business protocol and etiquette expert Ann Marie Sabath, founder of Cincinnati-based At Ease Inc., accentuates the positive possibilities of such modern marvels, by counseling readers to note that electronic forms of communication are still forms of human communication - so humanize them.

"Consider your voice-mail as your private secretary. Personalize your greeting on a daily basis [so people will] know when they can count on hearing from you."

And be sure to format your e-mail message as an electronic memo should be: with your telephone number, fax number and mailing address at the bottom of your message, she says.

She notes that giving alternate ways to be reached saves significant time for all involved.

It is also wise to mirror the behavior of decision-makers and higher-ups who contact you by responding to their communications in kind, whether e-mail for e-mail or in person rather than by phone. This creates the desirable perception that you are "operating on their wavelength.